old man gummer

Well Power is most definetly coming along and i must say it is one cool show. I must say my first experience being onstage neked and yes martha i intended for it to be spelled neked although i will most likely mispell some other funky word later so keep your eyes peeled, anways my first time was intresting and a bit weird to start but i must say alot of fun. I have been having trouble watching the sad moments in movies lately i tend to shut it off when i know some old mans gonna croke or bambi's mom is taking one for the team. So a party is finally coming for the closing night if not sooner so thats fun! But i must tell a story from my life now. Okay so this one time i was chillin at the store with my brother and he ran in to grab some munchies for a night of gaming out and i was about 12 i think. My brother was hanging in the store when i looked in my rear view mirror and seen an old man bust out a fresh pack of gum. The odd thing was the man looked at the pack as if it was the first time he had ever seen gum with his eyes popping outta his head. James then hopped in the car and was about to fire up the engine when i was like "no wait shhh look at grandpa back there" so james looked with me in silence. The old man put the gum in his mouth and started chewing away like there was no tommorow just fucking chewing the shit and smiling away. And james started to do the old mans voice like "num num nums ooo yeah mmmm thats it baby gum on my tongue whooopeee look out you little whippersnappers i can chew gum" as we pulled away we looked beside us and the old man gave us the thumbs up like "hey dude's don't worry i can chew gum i'm coo i'm coo" anyways i am off to help with the build see ya'll later

good days

Man today is one flipping great day, Listen to good old jack johnson banna pancakes and eating some toast. I have realized something about this life that figuring out what ya want is the hardest thing about it, i mean how can you work for something if ya don't know what it is. Or even if you pick something i mean sometimes its just to have a goal and you really just don't have any desire for it. I know this is not like a normal biff blog but i tell ya today is whacked. So i say chill out and think of something you want and then think of the reason for wanting it then drink 6 beers and leave your house in search for what ever it is and ta da nothing but daisies and sunflower paddy whacks. Well i am off to shower and go have some fun mabye listen to some tunes but my advice is get up mabye listen to your fave tune and start thinking about what it is ya want. Anyways i am off have a good one peoples!!!

Jazz Master

I remember this one time i was hanging with a few random guys in this car bombin down the road i mean i really didn't know the guys all that well but we ripped by a guy playing drums on the side of the road and one guy in the front of the car was like sweet a jazz master, now i dono if it was because he was high on some funky unky stuff but what a sweet term jaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzz maaasssssterrrrr......... man i would like to be known as a jazz master i mean i can't even play jazz but jazzzz masterrrrr man that gives ya shivers up the spine. Some girl walks up to you one day and ya know, you both chat it up for a while and your like with a smooth tone smooth as silk" so what do you do" and she's like "i am certified accountant for a respectable branch". This girl is like totally raining on ure parade at this point. Then you being you just sit in silence until she utters the magical words "what do you do" and you look at her with a smooth grin and answer in an almost hypnotic tone "well girl believe or not but i am a jaaaaaaazzzz masssssterrrr!!" right then the girls shirt just falls off because of the almost melodic words u just uttered. Then the girl looks at the saxamaphone on ure back and says "can you play me some jazz?" and again in a smooth tone you say "sorry girl i don't know how to play the jazz, i am just a jazz master thats all" at this the girl falls to the ground and spit shines your shoes for you. With the shiny gleam coming off your new black shoes matching your black shirt, BlAcK pants and of course black shades and black artist hat with a pinch of black sparkles on top you say " i gotta go beautifull-" and before you can smoothly say anything else the girl wipes the last muck off your slick slick shoe and says " I know I know your a Jaaaazzz Maaassstter you got stuff to do" and your all like with a smooth tone and i am talking smoother then smooth with a capital s and thats smooth baby, you say " Thats right girl and remember always Jaazzzzzz" and she says "Massssssster...." as you strut out of the place you lay a smooth fart from your butt and laugh as your fart tone lays down a kenny g solo.....

Dads cookies

Well it is about 3:30 in the morning and my eyes are getting heavy. I am looking out a window and i can see a street lamp just a chillin doing its thing lighting some useless piece of walkway up. I am thinking about getting some dads cookies. What is it with the assortment of dads cookies although keep in mind i am not knocking the actual cookies as they are delicious. But back to my point the cookies the "dads cookies" i mean you get a round one that tastes good in then you get a round one with a hole in the middle but still has a great taste now we get to the oval shaped one who tastes exactly like the 1st fuckin round one i mean come on just because your fucking oval doesn't mean i will overlook your un original taste you fuckin fuck face fuck right the fuck off. I wonder why they are called dad's cookies to begin with.... remember when marty mcfly slips up in back to the future and call's his father in it george mcfly "dad" haha then hey all plays it smooth and is all like "dad dad daddyo" anyways i is off to bed before i lose my mind any further hopefully i get drunk soon night night....

Chattin Some Jazz

I am staring at a pair of fuzzy dice right now.... Man i dono why but fuzzy dice are just the kewlest i mean you can hang em in your car and play a totally ridiculously big board game with them. I was thinking that i would love to go sky diving today but i would definitely need some one to join me in this venture i mean how cool would it be just to through yourself towards the earth just shittin your pants the whole way feeling weightless weeeee!!!! So if you would like to join me lets make it happen. So this stoner came around the aisle at Canadian tire the other day and was like" Whoa!!! man you look like that fucking happy Gilmore guy huh huh" and i was like " I am him buddy but your trippin" ha ha oh man you shoulda seen the look on his face his brain couldn't even begin to figure out what i just said. I remember this one time i was sittin at my desk in grade 5 and i looked over to talk to a girl named heather who i had a crush on and i leaned to far and my desk totally fell side ways trapping my arm under it she was all like" hey biff u okay" and i was all Mr tough guy with watery eyes" why wouldn't i be okay?" oh man that sucked. This girl at subway today who usually serves me and Gregoire changed from her outfit and got off shift to go home and holy cock a doodle dooskie was she good looking i do say it is amazing how much those uniforms can hide. I find that when i am stoned it is like a nice little warm dome i am protected inside of i mean nothing can get in. So the next time freddy or jason come up talking there gonna kill me and shit like that i will be like" EH FREDDY i just smoked a bowl motha fucka so you and your claws and go jerk off in a corner". Well i am off to get some sleep but one thing i do have on my wish list is a sweet rippin party soon cause we need one people anyways goodnight. If you plan to have a snack i suggest milk and cookies

Boris Beer + Biff Thought

Alright so i had some Boris Beer the other night and i am telling ya its a must buy. The bottles are not big at all but you feel like a dirty french men with no life named "HUGO" and i must say it is great. Last night was pretty bizarre i can't really describe what happened as it was a very sacred event but i can say this holy smokarino's. Smokarino's man that would be a superb hot dog brand i mean i would buy them but they would have to be smokies(Cheese filled). Ok so anyways what did i learn from last nights events hmmmm... well i suppose i learned that when ever you drink Boris just give in and let Boris take over cause he is a genius. What was snow really saying in that informer song? This is what i got from it "Informer a soda pop winkle dinklee yeah i lick a boomp boomp they air". Remember when he tried to make his comeback with that song where he is infront of the blingin cars and joke song haha what a fluff. Well i tell ya if ya feel guilt and your like oh man commitments responsiblity and obligation and due dates just say its ok and do something fun like drink a beer or play with your fish bowl and then think wow life is just a simple wimple then jump around and lie to your self that you don't have to do shit anymore then lay on the ground and let your mind slip which is pretty tough to do, then think of random images but don't you fucking dare try to make sense of them, then make up words but don't define them just make up one's that sound cool and put your mind at ease, then roll on the ground like a walrus cause walrus's are a fun time, then think of a man who thinks he is the greatest intellectual in this universe and feel good inside as you know he masturbates every day falling in love with himself more and more eternally doomed to a life of rice crackers and re runs of Chips. I must advise you when you convince your mind to fall in to biff thought let it know it will be ok but that it must let go of all the useless and pointless crap it usually is motivated to do and instead induldge itself into a muffin and doobie mentality. The key to Biff thought is no confrontation it is my belief that on the regular, a person's mind has an internal confrontation constantly either it thinking about what time somthing actually happened or mabye thinking about how many cookies you had the night before. You must remember when you slip in to biff thought to let go and some times make up shit just to avoid confrontation i mean for instance your mind is trying to think of how many rocks you skipped across the lake and your thought process fire's up immeadiatly say 13 because its an unlucky number but at the same time a juicy number and then think about how freaking juicy that fuckin number is o yeah juicy number 13, see no confrontation yet it instead produced a number and also put some thought in to how great the number is when usual thought would still be debating if it was 13 no mabye 15 rocks hmmm man my head hurts. Well i am off to the sackola have a good one and weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!